Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Signs of the Times

I was driving down the road yesterday when I saw a truck passing me that said "Kingdom Alarm Systems". I kind of chuckled to myself thinking about how "out of business" they will be when we are in the real Kingdom.

Traveling along I began to recall some of the names that well-meaning Christians have labeled their businesses without really thinking through the implications.

Agape Wrecking Service. Does this mean they unconditionally love all wrecks? Or that they have a Godly love for wrecking things?

Believers Polygraph Systems. Is this a service that can only tell if Christians are lying? Or perhaps it's a machine that can tell by your answers whether you really are a believer or not. Maybe it means that believers will pass the test even if they are lying.

Heavenly World Travel Agency. Could this be where angels can book a cruise to the Bahamas? Or where people who are experiencing "hell on earth" can plan a change of scenery?

Covenant Arbitration Group. I wonder if they list Moses as one of their clients? It would be a little scary to have to subpoena the Creator of the Universe as a defendant. "Mr. Creator Sir, did you understand the terms of the contract? Did you read the fine print?" Exactly who would you turn to to enforce a monetary judgment against the Almighty?

Exodus Home Builders. It would kind of stink to spend six months building your dream home and then immediately have to pack up and walk away from it. At least you might get some cool gifts from your neighbors on your march out of the neighborhood.

Narrow Way Road Construction. I just hope you're not in a hurry.

Abundant Life Weight-Loss. Maybe the abundant life is the problem in the first place. A better name might be the Living Sacrifice Weight Loss... on second thought people might just take that to mean grilling more hamburgers... poor cows. (not the people trying to lose weight, the actual cows that the hamburgers came from!)

And finally the one that puzzles me the most but I see it everywhere I go: "Wine and Spirit".

At first I used to think this was a store where you picked up Communion supplies but I'm beginning to wonder if those really are Bibles they are hiding in them there brown paper sacks.

1 comment:

Greg said...

Good observations. You gotta wonder if people set aside their critical thinking skills when they came up with some of those names!

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